Party Time
by rastarabbit
Summary: Rachel helps out a friend by hosting a sex toy party and the Joker decides to drop by. One shot. Warning: Sex!


**A/N: This was written for a prompt at the Blood and Lust comm on Live Journal. Prompt: Rachel holds a sex toy party and the Joker crashes it! There are naughty sex goings on, including knife play, so be warned. Please reveiw!**

*****

Rachel Dawes put the finishing touches on her table of party snacks as her friend Martha checked her watch for the third time in five minutes. It was almost seven o'clock in the evening, and the party guests were due to arrive at any moment.

"Are you sure people will show up?" Martha asked anxiously. "This is my first party for this product, and I will absolutely die if no one comes."

Rachel looked up and rolled her eyes. "Now, just relax! I got RSVPs from every one of the ladies at my office, and they're all very reliable. They'll show up, they'll buy, and you'll be well on your way to a successful career selling the Happy Homemaker Sex Toy line."

"I hope so," Martha sighed. "I'm barely making ends meet after the divorce. If I don't make a go of this, it's back to hawking Tupperware in the suburbs, and I couldn't stand much more of that."

"Well, don't worry, it's going to be great." Just then, the doorbell rang. "Ah, see? There's someone now." Rachel patted Martha's shoulder, gave her a comforting smile, then went to open the front door of her apartment. Two of her co-workers were standing there expectantly with goofy grins on their faces; another woman followed close behind them. The three were ushered in, giggling, and no sooner had Rachel begun introductions than the doorbell rang again. Two more ladies were led inside.

"Girls, this is Martha, she's our HHST representative; this is Roxanne and Susan, both attorneys, and this is Imelda, our Legal Aid liaison. Kathy is Harvey's executive assistant, and this is Dena, our head legal clerk. Please, everyone help yourselves to snacks and punch--oh, and I'll put on some coffee, too." Rachel headed for the kitchen, giving Martha some space to acquaint herself with the guests.

The women took a few steps toward the snack table, but every one of them stopped dead in their tracks as they came upon the colorful array of merchandise that Martha had laid out on Rachel's coffee table. Martha grinned happily as she held up a large squishy purple dildo and flicked the switch to make it light up and vibrate. Her audience ooh'ed in delight and Martha began her spiel.

"Ladies, don't be afraid to handle these wonderful toys--pick them up, feel how life-like they are. Better than a boyfriend and definitely better than fresh produce! This one is water-proof--you can use it in the bath or shower! Prefer something a bit more discrete? This is the Tiny Tim, small enough to fit in your purse, but boy, does it deliver a serious punch in the clit-stimulation department! Uh, yes, you have a question, Kathy?"

"Yeah, can you use these with regular lube or do you need something special?"

"Oh, you can use anything you want, but check out this lavender-cucumber warming gel--really adds to the Happy Homemaker experience! Smell--isn't that nice? It's great for your skin, edible, and acts as aromatherapy, too. Very soothing!"

"Excuse me, do you have any butt plugs?" Roxanne asked thoughtfully, a frown on her face as she glanced from a textured silicon vibrator in one hand to a smooth glass one in the other.

"Oh, absolutely. Here, let me get my case..."

Just then the door creaked open again. The ladies were too busy giggling and pawing over the merchandise to notice the green-haired man in the purple overcoat slip in. He moved cat-like around the periphery of the room and watched the women's cacophony of laughter and discussion with interest. He managed to get a peek at the objects of their attention and an amazed smirk crossed his scarred face. He shook his head and continued into the kitchen, where Rachel was putting on a pot of coffee with her back to the door.

The Joker silently came up behind her, pulled a knife out of his pocket and slipped one arm securely around Rachel's waist. He clamped his other hand over her mouth, muffling her scream, and breathed "Shhh..." into her ear at the same time. He leaned into her and she could feel him wedge a hard bulge against her behind. In spite of the shock, his touch made her shiver. He pressed the knife into her side, not hard enough to cut, but letting her know it was there.

"Quiet, pretty girl. Now, turn around. That's right, nice and slow."

Rachel's heart was pounding. The smell of the coffee quickly blended with the familiar scent of gasoline and dirty hair, and she felt her stomach lurch. She did as he directed and the look of anger and disgust on her face made him laugh.

"Sorry to interrupt the festivities, but I just had to see you again, gorgeous."

"Get out," Rachel hissed. "You don't scare me."

"I don't?" he asked, puzzled. He examined his knife, then quirked an eyebrow as his mouth spread into a broad grin. "Ah. I see the problem. Obviously, you don't know how this gadget works. It's similar to the ones you have out there, but a lot more painful. Here, let me give you a demonstration--" Just then, Martha's voice rose above the hubbub.

"Now, ladies, let me give you a demonstration. See, there are two speeds, and--"

The Joker was momentarily distracted by the whirring noise and he grabbed Rachel's arm to prevent her doing something foolish as he peered into the living room. He stared, open-mouthed, as Martha held up an enormous double-dildo in flesh-tone pink. He turned back to Rachel and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Say, is this what you women do when you get together? Because, I don't see how any guy has a chance of getting laid if that's the competition."

"Oh, will you just leave! I don't see how a lunatic like you ever gets laid anyway!"

The Joker raised his eyebrows in delight and dissolved into silent laughter. He grabbed Rachel's other arm and whispered into her ear, "Well, funny you should mention that, because--guess what, doll-face? I _am_ going to give you a demonstration..." He turned her so her back was to him and pushed her so that she bent over the small but sturdy breakfast table. He pulled up her skirt and ran the tip of the blade upwards from the back of her knee along her thigh, leaving an elegant red line dotted with tiny beads of blood that formed a lacy pattern before running together into a downward trickle. He slid the knife under the fabric of her silky panties, slit them in one motion, and yanked down what was left , fully exposing her creamy round bottom.

The pain of the shallow cut made Rachel squeal in distress, and the Joker instantly pressed the blunt part of the blade into the mound of soft flesh between her legs. He viciously increased the vise-like pressure on her arm and said, "Quiet, babe. You don't want to alert your gal-pals to what's going on in here, do you? Because, I know you're fond of them all, and you wouldn't want to go into work tomorrow to a bunch of empty desk chairs--right?"

Rachel nodded, holding back tears. She'd known for a long time that this day would come, dreaded it, feared it, yet eagerly anticipated it somewhere deep in her subconscious. Now that it was happening, she felt her heart banging in her chest and found it hard to catch her breath. The pain along the back of her thigh was turning into a sticky, itchy heat, but even so, she couldn't help but spread her legs further apart, couldn't help but arch her back so that her rear stuck out farther, offering herself to him, craving his touch.

Rachel hoped for a gentle caress, for a careful fingertip to trace along the cleft of her entrance before slowly parting those moist lips, helping her ready herself for him, but she was sadly disappointed. She couldn't stop an involuntary shriek when she felt a cold, hard object abruptly enter her pussy, something thick and blunt and unyielding. She thought for a moment it was the Joker's cock, but she realized she hadn't heard him unzip, and she knew the manhood of even so cruel a criminal as the Joker wouldn't be so cold. It took a few brutal thrusts before she realized it was the handle of his knife.

"No..." she moaned. "Please--don't hurt me, Joker. Please."

"I'm not going to hurt you, baby. This is called foreplay! Jeeze, I thought you knew all about sex toys..."

"Knives aren't sex toys," Rachel hissed, her anger at his mistreatment overcoming her humiliation. "Now, stop that! If we're going to do this, then let's do it right and get it over with!"

The Joker chuckled. "Well, if my pointy little dildo doesn't suit you, you better see what you can do to get me in the mood, eh?" He allowed Rachel to turn to face him, and the quirk of his eyebrow and sardonic grin let her know that he expected her to give him oral attention. They were both breathing a bit heavily when they heard Martha explaining about edible body paint.

"Men just love it when you express your artistic talents on their skin, then lick it off!"

The Joker got a mischievous look on his face and he flung open the refrigerator door. He dug around a little, then took out a can of whipped cream and handed it to Rachel.

"Here, doll. Let's see what kind of artist you are." He opened his trousers and pushed them down, his erection poking out from under his shirttail. "On your knees, now..."

Rachel knelt down, shaking her head. "You're a bastard, you know that?" she spat as she started to squirt the cream onto his cock.

"Come on, that's not very creative! What are you, left-brain dominant? Think outside the box!" the Joker chided.

Rachel sprayed a splotch of cream onto the Joker's thigh and started to lick it off, but he said "Ah-ah-ah, here." He took the can, propped up his leg on a chair, and drew a smiley face on his inner thigh. He looked at her expectantly. She glared at him, but licked at it obediently.

He made an approving noise, then handed her the can again, so she did the same on his other leg, this time making a smiling bunny before licking it away. He laughed, then pointed at his dick. Rachel sprayed on little dots for eyes and a line for a nose, then looked up at him. He nodded and she slid her tongue up and down the length, cleaning away the whipped cream. He held the back of her head and forced himself into her mouth. She made a disgusted noise, but set to the task, knowing that she stood a better chance of getting rid of him if she satisfied him quickly. In the living room, they could hear Martha exclaiming, "And, girls, this one is inflatable!"

The Joker looked down at Rachel. Rachel pulled back and looked up at the Joker. They both broke into giggles. The Joker yanked her up and smothered her mouth with a demanding kiss, and she felt the tip of his knife lightly graze the skin on her belly as he sliced open the front of her shirt and bra in one swift motion. She gasped, retreating from his mouth, then sighed as his warm hands began fondling her bare breasts. He squeezed and pinched none too gently, but as he kissed her again, she felt a deep shiver wrack her body, radiating from where he was touching her straight down to her crotch.

It was almost a relief when he picked her up and set her on the table. He forced her legs apart and pushed her knees up toward her chest as she lay back. Suddenly, she felt him enter her--no knife handle this time--and the long, thick member felt good as he eased himself in up to the hilt. Rachel moaned and braced herself for a deep, hard fuck, but he didn't move. To her horror, she felt the now-familiar tip of his blade at her throat and her eyes flew open as she sought to find out what his intentions were.

The Joker was staring at her quizzically, as if she were an interesting slide in a microscope. He trailed the cutting edge of his knife along the side of her throat, his hand controlled, just barely opening her skin enough to let a thin red line appear.

"No," Rachel choked, now truly afraid.

"Relax, kiddo. Just making this a memorable occasion for you." He leaned forward and lapped at the blood on her neck then kissed her again, letting her taste the metallic substance that lingered on his tongue. Rachel forgot the pain and wriggled under him, hoping he would move the way she now desperately needed for him to. At last, he pulled back, slipping himself almost out of her, leaving in just the tip. He looked into her eyes and began a slow, steady stroke back into her, then repeated the movement again and again.

Martha's rapt audience was still completely occupied with her wares. The women were full of questions, hands busy passing different objects back and forth, and no one thought to ask where Rachel was.

Rachel was now totally focused on what was happening to her body, and she eagerly thrust back as the Joker began to move more quickly, more deeply, gradually building to a piston-like intensity that had her stifling desperate gasps and cries. She groaned as she felt the knife tip slide along the line between her breasts, leaving another long, shallow trail of blood. The Joker ran a fingertip gently along it, then brought it to his mouth and licked it clean as she watched. The hot pain, the intensity of his thrusts, and the overwhelming confusion of how wrong it all was, yet how good it all was, built into a roiling wave of pleasure, and Rachel came with a cry that she could no longer control.

She heard the Joker chuckle, and he smiled down at her. She stared, fascinated, as his painted face then grimaced, eyes squeezed tightly shut, his pink tongue slipping in and out as his own pleasure rose. She could hear sounds of the party dying down, women reaching into their handbags for checkbooks and credit cards, questions about tax, shipping and handling, and delivery dates flying back and forth.

"Hurry," she gasped, and he gave a brief nod of understanding. After a few more frantic thrusts, he grunted from deep in his throat as he spilled his seed into her. He rocked back and forth a few more times as the final tremors of his erection ebbed away. He pulled out of her and hastily tucked his cock back into his pants and zipped up.

The Joker winked at Rachel, and gave her a sly grin. "Now, I don't know a whole lot about the things those girls are going wild over out there, but here." He pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket and thrust them into Rachel's hand. "Why don't you pick out a few items that you think we might both enjoy--hm? For next time." He planted a blood-tinged kiss on her lips. "Or--we can stick with the pointy thing, if you prefer. Doesn't matter to me." He grinned and slipped out the back door before Rachel could think of something satisfyingly nasty to say to him. Just then, Martha and two of the party guests came barreling into the kitchen.

"Rach, where have you been? I--" Martha stopped short and the two ladies behind her ran into her. All three stared in bewildered horror at the sight before them--Rachel, perched on her kitchen table with her hair a mess, her tear-streaked faced smeared with red and white makeup, her blouse torn, skirt hiked up to her waist, ripped panties dangling from one ankle. She was a bloody mess from neck to knees.

"Jesus, girl--what happened to you?" Martha gasped.

"I, uh--I got a little excited about your product line, I guess." Rachel hopped gingerly to the floor and smoothed her skirt down, kicked off the underwear, and gathered her blouse over her bare, blood-streaked breasts. She rubbed irritably at her lips and stared at the greasy paint that came away on her hand.

Rachel looked up at the trio and gave Martha an awkward smile. She tried to make her voice sound normal before she spoke her request.

"May I see a catalogue, please?"

The End.


End file.
